The funniest healthy living ad we’ve seen all year

JUN 15, 2022

Minute 1: More news on how to live longer

Ponce de Leon may have pursued the Fountain of Youth in the 16th century, but the modern media is even more fascinated with increasing human lifespan than the Spanish explorer was. In recent issues, we reported on “The 'Benjamin Button' effect: Scientists can reverse aging in mice. The goal is to do the same for humans” and even on the fact that dogs can help you live longer: “The Relationship Between Pet Ownership and Longevity.” This week, news comes to us that “Anti-aging clues lurk in lysosomes, the recycling centers of the cell.” A team of researchers at Baylor College found that a fatty acid produced by lysosomes – a cleaning and recycling agent within cells – can add more than 40% to the life expectancy of ring worms in a laboratory setting. Boosting production of these fatty acids in humans can have a positive impact on cancer, Parkinson’s and general cell life. Meanwhile, the somewhat controversial Keto diet may boost human tissue life, according to new research from Stanford: “Ketogenic diet promotes muscle stem cell resilience but slows injury repair in mice.” In the short term, either fasting or going into a Keto state can slow down how quickly muscles repair themselves, but can also make them more resistant to stress and extend their expected life. If you’d like some overall guidance, consider these tips from a respected researcher in the field: “7 'ageless' habits a longevity expert follows to slow aging.” #CellService


Minute 2: Vacation washouts

During the pandemic, Americans seemed to rediscover the outdoors the way that college kids rediscover the library in the week before finals. That’s good news for mental and physical health, but it also means that park space can be harder to find than an open study carrel, as reported last month: “National parks prepare for millions to visit this summer; some now require reservations.” Well, the crowds may only increase this summer as massive flooding in Yellowstone forced the park to close and caused extensive damage to roadways: “Floods leave Yellowstone landscape ‘dramatically changed’.” The storms created some scary moments as park visitors fled for safety. This video shows just how frightening it was: “People Escaping Extreme Flooding in Yellowstone Park Narrowly Miss Being Crushed by Rockfall.” The chaos may deter folks from visiting Yellowstone, probably the most famous of all U.S. National Parks, and send them to other destinations. If you are looking for solitude this summer, you may want to avoid the “25 Most Visited Parks in 2021” as reported by the National Park Service. #ParkingThicket


Minute 3: Is the era of deep discounts coming to an end?

A provocative new essay in The Atlantic got our attention with the following observation: “If you woke up on a Casper mattress, worked out with a Peloton, Ubered to a WeWork, ordered on DoorDash for lunch, took a Lyft home, and ordered dinner through Postmates only to realize your partner had already started on a Blue Apron meal, your household had, in one day, interacted with eight unprofitable companies that collectively lost about $15 billion in one year.” What that means, according to “The End of the Millennial Lifestyle Subsidy,” is that venture capitalists and other investors have effectively been giving you lots of stuff on the cheap. That’s why an Uber from the airport has frequently been cheaper than a yellow taxi. We realize you may not feel subsidized when you are asked to pay $2,300 for a Peloton treadmill, but because the company is losing billions of dollars, that actually means their investors are footing part of the bill for you – the consumer. That’s true of other health and fitness related products like WHOOP which has raised more than $400 million and Hydrow which has raised more than $250 million. With the stock market in a downward spiral and venture money becoming more cautious, many of these “unicorns” are effectively taking their free chicken wings off the bar and trimming back happy hour discounts in an effort to get profitable.

#UnicornHole


Minute 4: What we can learn from Tom Cruise’s workout

According to Variety, Tom Cruise’s new movie is now one of his most successful of all time: “‘Top Gun: Maverick’ Flies Past ‘Doctor Strange 2’ as Highest-Grossing Movie of the Year in the U.S.” If you feel the need, the need for speed, and don’t have a spare $66 million to purchase a Boeing F/A-18 Super Hornet fighter jet like the one Maverick flies, you may have to get your kicks by running a little faster on the ground. As we have mentioned before, Cruise is a prolific on-screen runner as documented in this video montage: “Every Tom Cruise Running Scene, Mapped.” If you’d like to find out how a 59-year-old actor runs so much, does his own stunts and still looks great shirtless in a beach football scene, check out: “8 Things Tom Cruise Does To Stay In Peak Shape At 59.” Cruise mixes cardio and weight training while avoiding carbs and eschewing “cheat days.”

#CruiseControl


Minute 5: Quick Intervals

  • For 40 years, a trail race in England has pitted human runners against horses. This year, for only the third time in history, a human prevailed over his equestrian rivals, finishing the 22.5-mile course about 2 minutes faster than the top horse. The details on how the 37-year-old firefighter was able to defeat 1,000 humans and 50 horses are here: “Man vs. horse: Powys race won by runner Ricky Lightfoot.”

  • More than once in this space we have professed our love and admiration for Vitamin D. With the short days of winter behind us, it’s a good time to soak up some doses of this important nutrient via solar rays (assuming you are protected by sunscreen). If you need more incentive to get outside or to eat D-rich foods like salmon and tuna, here’s a new motivator: “Vitamin D Deficiency Leads to Dementia.”

  • A new joint study was just released by MIT, Harvard, Stanford and Emma, our summer intern, proving that what dads want most on Sunday is Six Minute Mile branded gear. And apparently, the cooler the dad, the more deeply he covets SMM swag like hoodies, t-shirts and hats. If you’re like us, you may even come into our store with good intentions of buying something nice for pops, but leave with a few goodies for yourself. Whether you run at a 6 minute per mile pace or a 6 minute per kilometer pace, everyone looks good in SMM gear. Check out the full collection here.


Minute 6: Daily Inspiration

This liquid is more than twice as expensive as gasoline, and judging by its brand name, it may be more dangerous than America’s favorite fossil fuel. Although Liquid Death sure sounds frightening, it actually provides nothing more than drinking water under its provocative label. The brainchild of a master creative mind and prolific fundraiser (“Liquid Death lands $75M more to expand the brand”), Mike Cessario says his company is “about making healthy beverages as fun or more fun than junk food and alcohol brands.” He serves up his water in 16-ounce cans that are meant to look like they contain a craft beer or energy drink. That has led to some absolutely hilarious ads like this one featuring kids and moms faux partying. Cessario maintains that aluminum cans are much friendlier to the environment than plastic bottles, which also explains why the brand has caught fire. For the most recent “taste test commercial” that will have you in stitches, check out the link below.